Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize