how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
