i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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