sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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