good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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