reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
