i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
