I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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