I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
