Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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