Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
