DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
