i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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