Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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