he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
