I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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