Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize