Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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