i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize