do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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