just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
