just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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