Are we in a gay sports bar?
I cockslap morals
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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