it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
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