Can i not drive my cunt home
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize