how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize