Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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