i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
