Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
