butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I had to cum in my sink.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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