so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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