I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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