you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Randomize
