I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
This toilet bowl is my home.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
