i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
