my soul wont recognize me after tonight
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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