Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
