Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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