2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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