i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
