dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
