You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
this beer tastes like vomit already
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He better not be in your backpack
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
