PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
