Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
