kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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