Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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