I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
