eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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