i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
