Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
