I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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