Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
