I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
