I never want to see another naked old woman again.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
