I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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