HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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