he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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