I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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