He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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