remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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