8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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