Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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