The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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