I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
