and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
