Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
