so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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