He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
In other news, I just burned my penis
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