I think I died a long time ago.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
