I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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